Self-sabotage when it comes to exercise and fitness goals

In this weeks blog I am joined by personal trainer and life coach, Robyn Pollard.

Robyn talks us through the most common self-sabotaging behaviours she comes across when it comes to setting fitness goals, how strength training can boost our confidence and improve our mental health; and, provides practical and realistic tips towards getting started with fitness goals.

For anyone who may not know you, please introduce yourself

I’m Robyn, I’m a personal trainer and I help women learn how to draw out their inner strength and resilience through strength training.

I coach women following my holistic five pillar approach that focuses on strength training, habits and behaviour change, nutritional education, uprooting limiting self beliefs, and stress management. It’s a combination of personal training and life coaching, as I believe to create long-term, sustainable change the two have to go hand in hand.

I never actually imagined I'd be a personal trainer. I was never the sporty kid at school. I used to skip P.E lessons once GCSE's came around and I had a valid excuse. I qualified after having an emergency surgery that made me realise the career path I was chasing was not what I really wanted, it was just what everyone around me wanted. I feel really lucky to be in a profession I'm passionate about, and to be helping women realise how strong, powerful and capable they really are.

I love that your message as a PT focuses on building women’s confidence as well as strength training. You talk about self-sabotaging behaviours that can often leave us feeling stuck and running round in circles – please could you elaborate more on this? What are the most common ones you come across as a coach? I know that I, for example, know what I should be doing to lose weight/live healthier however I continually self-sabotage this.

Thank you. For me, that should always be the focus. I hate the narrative in the fitness industry that centres female exercise on weight loss, as if that’s the only reason we should work out. The confidence you gain from getting stronger in the gym is invaluable as it carries over into all aspects of your life.

When I talk about self-sabotage, I’m referring to the all or nothing mentality that is all too often associated with fitness or diet. This type of self-sabotage is rooted in perfectionism, and experiencing feelings of shame and unworthiness if we don’t meet certain standards. The idea that you have to be 110% in or it’s not worth it, because you aren’t doing it well enough. What happens is that people feel so unhappy with their current situation, they imagine what it would be like to be “perfect” or the “best” and they choose that as their goal. Think: going from 1,000 steps a day to 10,000, a non-gym goer deciding they need to go 6 times a week to be “fit”, someone who doesn’t run wanting to immediately run 30 miles a week, or deciding to cut out all sugar from your diet (don’t get me started on how absurd this is, but it is a common “diet hack”).

The truth is that any of these types of goals are completely unattainable because they are so far removed from the current reality. What then happens is slipping up once feels like a failure, or the goal is so overwhelming that they’re too scared to even start. Feelings of self-hate pop up again, and their brain then uses that as evidence that they’re incapable of change, so they end up back at square one feeling worse than when they began. We have ideals about what it means to be “fit” or “healthy” and all too frequently we mark ourselves down when we don’t match them, rather than doing what is feasible for our specific circumstances. This behaviour applies to even the lowest levels of self-sabotage - such as not going for a walk even though we said we would, or over-indulging because we feel bad about our bodies - because in my opinion, it comes down to not believing we are good enough if we don’t give 110%.

It’s a really vicious cycle to be trapped in because when this is all you’ve ever known, it feels impossible to get out of it. 

How can we begin to break that cycle of self-sabotage?

As with anything, small steps. What would be most beneficial and sustainable is doing the little things everyday. The small things that don’t even seem worthwhile, but they are what make the difference. Small swaps make a huge difference. For example, switching from sugar in your tea to sweetener. Three takeaways a week down to one. A 10 minute walk every morning. These things really add up in the long run.

You don’t have to completely uphaul your life to be “healthy” or “fit”. You may have to make compromises and be disciplined, but you don’t have to change who you are or give up the things you love. 

Do you think our self-sabotaging thoughts can play a part in our body image?

Yes, absolutely. I think that when our actions don’t align with our goals or values, we begin to self-criticize and that self-hate is redirected onto our body image. It’s often not the body we have a problem with, it’s how we view ourselves as people. Our bodies just get caught in the crossfire and take the brunt of it.

Another part of your message which I love is the focus of strength training being beneficial for our mental health. Could you tell us a bit more about this relationship and the benefits we can see mentally when incorporating strength training into our lives? 

The beauty of training is that regardless of how you feel, or how crappy you thought a session went, if you keep showing up, you are going to improve. It’s as simple as that.

Not only do you benefit physiologically from training, we all know about those juicy endorphins, but being able to see your progress over the weeks is really rewarding. There is a huge sense of achievement that comes hand in hand with training, and that alone is a huge boost to mental health.

In other areas of life, the reward isn’t always so clear. We can work hard for months on end in our jobs, stress ourselves to within an inch of our lives, and barely get any recognition or praise. However, with training, you can see how quickly you’re progressing and how your hard work and grit is paying off. That feeling makes you feel like a badass. It’s what I love most about training. 

What would you recommend for a beginner to try as an at home strength exercise?

The main movement patterns you should focus on are push, pull, squat and hinge.

There are a million variations of each, but the ones to focus on are push ups, pull ups or rows, squats, and glute bridges or hip thrusts. Training isn’t glamorous and it isn’t sexy. You don’t need a complicated 7 stage movement for an exercise to be effective. The best lifters repeat and perfect these main movement patterns. 

Where can we keep up to date with you and get more of these amazing tips?

The best place to find me is on Instagram @robynkatepollard or my website www.robynkatepollard.co.uk which has details of how to work with me, and a blog for education and entertainment!